Rantings Of a Girl

sean-p3:

fuckkyeahafghanistan:

This has been on my mind a while, and I know I will probably get tons of bullshit milso’s standing up for themselves, and saying this and that, it’s all words to me, I don’t give a fuck what you have to say to me, or if you want to throw your Army wife drama my way. Just hear me out:
I have seen more then enough of my friends, and brother’s getting divorced and relationships end because of PTSD, because he “Didn’t come home the same” “I couldn’t handle it”. You see, the glitz, and glamor of military spouses on tumblr, the homecoming photo’s and gifs of jumping into each others arms, the count downs, the engagements, the stupid ass (what you all think is cute?) milso quotes and sayings..ect. Okay. What about after all this shit? He/she’s home. Now what? It’s not going to go back to how it was before. After the homecoming excitement wears off, what then? When he starts getting nightmares? When he’s angry? When he’s anxious, jumpy, snappy? When he shuts you out? Wont talk. How will you handle it then? Is it still the perfect “Military fairy tail relationship” ? I’m not saying every single one of you is like this. But I’ve seen it. I’ve gone through it. I also understand, it’s not easy on the flip side, to deal with that. At times it’s not fair. At times it can seem like we’re using you as the punching bag, taking it out on you, shutting you out, ect. It’s like walking on eggshells, not knowing what you can say, when, how, what noises, what movies..it’s all just a huge puzzle you have to piece back together. I guess it just really pisses me off, when I see that being in a relationship where one is in the military, is such a hype, I don’t get it. What’s so great about the distance? The training, the deployments, the cheating (yes, I said it). It’s like people just like the story. PTSD, combat stress, anxiety..that isn’t a fairytail military relationship. Why don’t you see that part all over tumblr? Why isn’t that glamorized, and part of the hype? “I’m going to be there for him through everything, I’m going to wait, I’m going to try and understand, what can I do..” Yeah I get that shit in my ask, daily. My answer? Will remain the same. “Just be there” that’s all you can really do, but yet, I see my friends getting broken up with and divorced, left and right. I understand, if the relationship becomes a danger, and abusive and unhealthy. But, for the ones who just “Don’t want to deal with it”, because “He’s not the same”, harden the fuck up. He went to war, did you not expect to have him come home with some of it?

To a lesser extent this is an issue even for peacetime or non-combat deployers. He’s been gone for months on end while you’ve been running the show at home for months. He’s become close with shipmates, maybe closer than he is with you. You’ve reconnected with friends and family. He’s had a bunch of experiences you couldn’t understand without a weeklong explanation. One or both of you may have strayed.
Sure, the day he walks down the brow/gets off the plane/hops off the bus is great. What about the 364 days after that? And when he starts getting wrapped up in work ups for the next deployment? Even without PTSD in the picture, this is no picnic. He’s not coming home the same, and you’re not staying the same either. If this isn’t something you can or want to deal with, maybe the life of a MILSO isn’t for you.

fuckkyeahafghanistan:

This has been on my mind a while, and I know I will probably get tons of bullshit milso’s standing up for themselves, and saying this and that, it’s all words to me, I don’t give a fuck what you have to say to me, or if you want to throw your Army wife drama my way. Just hear me out:

I have seen more then enough of my friends, and brother’s getting divorced and relationships end because of PTSD, because he “Didn’t come home the same” “I couldn’t handle it”. You see, the glitz, and glamor of military spouses on tumblr, the homecoming photo’s and gifs of jumping into each others arms, the count downs, the engagements, the stupid ass (what you all think is cute?) milso quotes and sayings..ect. Okay. What about after all this shit? He/she’s home. Now what? It’s not going to go back to how it was before. After the homecoming excitement wears off, what then? When he starts getting nightmares? When he’s angry? When he’s anxious, jumpy, snappy? When he shuts you out? Wont talk. How will you handle it then? Is it still the perfect “Military fairy tail relationship” ? I’m not saying every single one of you is like this. But I’ve seen it. I’ve gone through it. I also understand, it’s not easy on the flip side, to deal with that. At times it’s not fair. At times it can seem like we’re using you as the punching bag, taking it out on you, shutting you out, ect. It’s like walking on eggshells, not knowing what you can say, when, how, what noises, what movies..it’s all just a huge puzzle you have to piece back together. I guess it just really pisses me off, when I see that being in a relationship where one is in the military, is such a hype, I don’t get it. What’s so great about the distance? The training, the deployments, the cheating (yes, I said it). It’s like people just like the story. PTSD, combat stress, anxiety..that isn’t a fairytail military relationship. Why don’t you see that part all over tumblr? Why isn’t that glamorized, and part of the hype? “I’m going to be there for him through everything, I’m going to wait, I’m going to try and understand, what can I do..” Yeah I get that shit in my ask, daily. My answer? Will remain the same. “Just be there” that’s all you can really do, but yet, I see my friends getting broken up with and divorced, left and right. I understand, if the relationship becomes a danger, and abusive and unhealthy. But, for the ones who just “Don’t want to deal with it”, because “He’s not the same”, harden the fuck up. He went to war, did you not expect to have him come home with some of it?

To a lesser extent this is an issue even for peacetime or non-combat deployers. He’s been gone for months on end while you’ve been running the show at home for months. He’s become close with shipmates, maybe closer than he is with you. You’ve reconnected with friends and family. He’s had a bunch of experiences you couldn’t understand without a weeklong explanation. One or both of you may have strayed.

Sure, the day he walks down the brow/gets off the plane/hops off the bus is great. What about the 364 days after that? And when he starts getting wrapped up in work ups for the next deployment? Even without PTSD in the picture, this is no picnic. He’s not coming home the same, and you’re not staying the same either. If this isn’t something you can or want to deal with, maybe the life of a MILSO isn’t for you.

(via pain-isweakness)